Team Trancy
by A Perfect Devil
Summary: A pair of ambiguously gay vampires decide to visit Alois and Claude. Also- jimmies. You can never forget them.


"Louis, come here and take a gander at this!" Lestat said, holding up a bright red flag that read 'team trancy.' with a large ornate T. Louis put his novel down an looked over his shouler at the flag. He di not find it thrilling in the least.

"That is a flag, Lestat."

"Yes, but they stole our joke." Lestat insisted, waving the flag in the air by one of it's corner. "That is our joke, Louis! It's a vampire joke and this horrible English human has stolen it from us!"

"Father, just let them have it. Humans ruins everything at some point." Claudia interjected. Louis nodded in agreement.

"I believe we should listen to Claudia." Louis said, and Claudia felt validated.

"I believe that I should go right over there and find that boy and show him a lesson. Aside from that England seems nice and I am feeling a bit famished myself."

"A french noble saying England seems nice. I believe you are simply famished." Louis told him.

"It does not matter, we are going and I will cast my utmost dissatisfaction over that boy's blood. What he has done almost criminal. That is our word. Our word. Not a humans."

"It will be a good show." Claudia said.

"Yes but only if you come with me. Louis."

"I suppose I will have to watch and make sure that you do not become a savage."

"We're all the same." Lestat reminded him. Sometimes, Louis liked to forget that.

At the Trancy Manor, Alois was busy doing what he usually did on a lonely Saturday night- harass Claude. Hannah rarely blinked an eye (quite literally, at some points) at Alois's abuse, and the triplets as Alois discovered were nothing more that flesh puppets that actually had no true abilities to comprehend pain or knowledge. That and Alois didn't have any friends except Ciel and Ciel was 'engaged' or whatever the hell that was with the blonde girl. Alois thought that meant sex, but Ciel knew Alois's stance on sexual intercourse and blondes so why the hell wasn't he over here? This left Claude as Alois's last resort. Claude had to do whatever Alois told him to and he wasn't allowed to complain about it.

"Claaaude." Alois rang a bell in the parlor.

"Yes your highness?" Claude asked and he was not sure what this Tuesdays' humiliation would be.

"I have stolen these rather…harlotish undergarments from Hannah. Tell me- do these make my ass look too big? Too small? Are the jimmies showing when I bend over lie this-" and Alois jumped off the couch and bent over with his ass in Claude's face.

"I do not know what 'jimmies' are and I believe that harlotish is not an actual word." Claude said, sounding more annoyed then he usually sounded.

"My ball sack, Claude. Can you see it?" Alois asked again, waving his ass back and forth.

"Yes my highness." Claude sighed. "Is that all you would like?"

"I suppose." Alois said, standing upright and walking back to lounge on the sofa and read trashy novels he only understood half of.

"I can not believe you are going to this length." Louis rolled his eyes and Claudia stood on their doorstep with her fake innocent face she gave to potential dinners. Lestat slammed the bronze knocker until a tall woman with lovely bronze skin answered the door.

"Hello sirs and Madame how may I help you?" she asked, noting that she smelled blood on his breath.

"Who are you. You are not a human boy!" Lestat said, getting impatient.

"May I ask what business you have this evening. Tuesday evenings are very special nights here." Hannah raised an eyebrow, suspicious of this man's intent.

"I would like converse with earl Alois Trancy regarding a manner of important offense."

"Yes sir. If you will not mind waiting in the sitting for my master to greet you I am sure he may e finished early this evening." she explained and Louis took off his top hat as he sat on the love seat next to Claudia. Lestat stood at the door frame tapping his dandy heel.

Claude stepped into the parlor a second, completely unenjoyable time. He sighed before he entered with a bathrobe for the fake earl to wear when meeting the guests. From what Hannah informed him of it was a den of vampires, and demons and vampires were not exactly what one could call allies. Two species. Same food source. It was the cause for enough competition for it be considered bizarre for a vampire to go near a demon's prey.

"My highness… there is a guest for you. A-"

"Yes! Ciel is here and he want me to fuck him!" Alois cheered, he ran into the sitting room, ignoring the robe Claude tried to put on him. Even Claude had a time believing how delusional his master was.

When Alois Trancy entered the room the first reaction was Louis to cover Claudia's eyes. They were far from innocent but he preferred that his adoptive child did not witness the underage, semi-erect penis standing right in front of them. Lestat almost laughed, but he was so irritated he couldn't imagine it.

"What is the meaning of this?" He held up the flag and handed the flag to Alois. Lestat glared at him in a way that said 'cover that in front of my child' and Alois wrapped the flag around his waist like a towel. Louis removed his hand from Claudia's vision.

"That is a Team Trancy flag. I used it in a game of 'capture the flag' against Ciel Phantomhive's filthy butler."

"I do not care what it is. That is our joke. Humans are not allowed to use it."

"Oh this again…" Louis rested his head against the comfortable chair while Claudia fiddled with her knotting. They were nearly bored to tears with hearing this again and again.

"Your humans have stake us, let us out into the sun to die, hunted us down and now you're taking the words from our mouths? Have you no shame!"

"I don't care who the hell you are but it is Tuesday and I'm due for a foot massage so unless you start talkin' about something I give a fuck about I will be getting pampered like royalty."

This brought tears to Lestat's eyes. The sheer selfishness, the attitude in his tone- that insistance of glamour and love of the male kind! So touching! So fabulous! Lestat was reminded of what might happen if he were a little human boy. He was just like Lestat in some way, that natural platinum blonde hair that curled at the end, the bright bleu eyes with long lashes, the subtle use of makeup- it was like Lestat was looking into a mirror that revealed himself, only younger.

"You." Lestat said, with that look of vampire 'want' in his eyes. He charged Alois, giving him a hug.

"You are just like a miniature version of me! Here I was thinking that I would kill you an drink your blood for dinner. I can not kill you because I love myself and you are just like me." Lestat huged him tighter as Claudia giggled as he squirmed in his arms.

"I love you!" Lestat cheered. Louis could relate to how Alois felt, but in a much more positive manner.

"Are we done now?" Alois asked.

"You can marry my daughter! Claudia, wouldn't you like to marry an Earl?"

"No thank you father." Claudia said.

"Oh. Well then, I suppose then we shall depart from your residence before the sun is up." Lestat said. Louis put his hat back on and Claudia stuffed her knotting into an embroidered pouch.

"Thank you for your visit sir." Hannah said, bowing as they left the door step.

"The butler would like to present you with this gift." she said, handing Louis a green bottle corked with a thick red liquid.

"Why thank you!" Lestat said. "and you aswell, earl!" he shouted out to Alois, who was most likely ready to bash Claude's head in for it not being Ciel at the door.


End file.
